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Not Lonely But I'm On My Own, A Stronger Solo.

Saturday, December 28, 2013 ♥
afraid... ♥ 7:01 AM



Sometimes people set up walls to protect themselves. I set them up because I'm afraid to face people. Ashamed to let them know what I've done.

I know my mum is hurting because I'm not talking to her these days. I feel very sorry but I can't face her just yet. Not until I pass tomorrow's registration for Business Degree. Of course I'm angry at my family forcing me to persuade my Degree when I didn't want to, However, I'm more afraid to let them know my secret, the truth. 

God I know that I've done nothing to deserve your blessings for this, but please help me for this one last time. Hope everything goes smoothly tomorrow... 

Thursday, December 26, 2013 ♥
F A M I L Y ♥ 5:24 AM

 
 
Family comes first in my life, 
but what happens when they are making decisions for you? To obey or not to obey? Yes they are afraid that you will make mistakes in life, but what is life when you don't make any?

There is a huge different between making your own mistakes and going through mistakes that someone else made for you. When you make your own mistake, there is no one to blame. You chose your own path from the very start. What you can do is to make it better along the way. 

Today, my family is making a huge decision for me. DEGREE. It has always been what they want me to do and accomplish. I'm so tired of all these crying. Every fucking year from SPM to A-levels and now Business Degree. From the very first day of completing my SPM, I didn't want to study anymore. I did my A-levels anyway because they want me to. The tradition way, everyone needs a fucking Degree whether you want it or not. The one and only reason I'm doing this is not that I agree with them. It's because I don't want to hurt my mum. My brother hurt her once, I don't want myself to be the second one.
 
Think I don't want to voice up my opinion to them?  What's the point? In the end it's not what I want and like to do. It's still what they want me to do. They will spend hours to have a long conversation with you but in the end the result is the same. So save all the quarrels and cryings.

Frankly speaking, I want to continue what I'm doing best now. Slowly building my own career, build my own team and become the youngest Unit Manager by the age of 23. Nope, I can't tell all these to my family as they won't understand. They would think that it's my current job that cause me to become who am I today. However it's not. Being in this career is a coincidence like a bridge linking to my dream, TO WHAT I WANT TO ACCOMPLISH.
 
 "Thank you mum, sister and brother-in-law for making me doing what I don't want to. This is the damn Degree certificate you want, here you go.", this is definitely going to my graduation speech in the future.




Lisar ♥
♥ The Fighther.

Lisar Ng
One year older on every February 2nd


Music is definitely part of her.
F A M I L Y comes first

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- Be the youngest presenter!
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` December 2013
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